‘Stress’ is a word that we all hear used on a frequent basis in today’s fast paced and hectic world. It’s used synonymously with other emotions, such as anxiety or worry, or with other words, such as pressures, demands or difficulties. But what exactly is stress?

Stress is something that we will all experience at some point in lives, but it’s a difficult thing to define. In fact there is no set definition. But basically it is a psychological state as a result of experiencing a situation or event that an individual perceives as challenging his or her ability to cope.

So how do we know that we’re experiencing this ‘psychological state’?

Well when people get stressed it triggers off a physical reaction in the body known as the fight or flight response. This is a physical response that has evolved to help our abilities to cope in a life threatening situation. By releasing adrenalin, increasing our heart and breathing rates, sending more blood to the brain and muscles and releasing glucose energy quickly, our body is preparing us physiologically to deal with our lives being under threat. And our bodies are able to sustain this in infrequent, short bursts.

However, with the pressures of today’s life, people are experiencing feelings of stress in non life threatening situations and are therefore experiencing the physical stress reactions on a much more frequent and long term basis. This can potentially result in detrimental effects for people both physically and emotionally in the short and long term unless the stress is addressed.

Stress can impact on physical health by making people more susceptible to physical illness or by exacerbating existing physical conditions. Stress can also impact on us psychologically by leading to other emotional issues, such as anxiety, low mood, etc, and it can also affect all other aspects of our lives, such as relationships, sex lives, work, studies, etc.

 Thus signs of stress can include:

 

Physical

Muscle tension and aches, Tiredness, Lack of energy, Sleep disturbance, Appetite disturbance, Heart palpitations

Chest tightness, Shortness of breath, rapid breathing or shallow breathing, Sweating / clamminess, Shakes / tremors, Headaches, Lump in throat or dry mouth, Abdominal discomfort, diarrhoea or constipation, Increased susceptibility to illness or exacerbation of existing illness, Rashes and skin disorders, Weight loss, Hair loss, Tics, Increased blood pressure,

Decreased / loss of libido, Heart attacks

 

Psychological

Anxiety & panic (panic attacks), Frustration, impatience, irritability & anger, Low mood & feeling upset, Psychosomatic symptoms, Indecisiveness,

Restlessness, Loss of motivation / reduced ambition, Loss of sense of humour, Lowered self-esteem, Lack of confidence, Insecurity, Confusion, Existing psychological disorders being exacerbated, Self-criticism & self-doubt, Hypersensitivity, Obsessions, Guilt, Suicidal ideations and/or attempts

 

Cognitive

Intrusive, irrational or racing thoughts, Communication difficulties, Difficulties with concentration, memory difficulties

 

Behavioural

Reduced performance in work or studies, Social withdrawal, Compulsions, Use of maladaptive coping strategies, e.g. substance misuse, eating disorder, comfort eating, gambling, risky sexual practices, self-harming.

 
 Ok so now we know what the signs can include, but what causes stress?

Whether something is seen as stressful is relative to the individual. And when you ask people what’s making them stressed you might hear one or more environmental, occupational or social stressors. Environmental stressors can include noise, temperature and lighting. Occupational stressors can include workload levels, staff relationships, responsibility, work environment, lack of recognition, poor job satisfaction, organisational culture, job insecurity, lack of support, and much more. Social stressors can be day to day things, personal issues or major life events. Examples include change, divorce, cultural expectations, perfectionism, loss of a loved one, relationship difficulties, moving house, becoming a parent, and yes insolvency!

But all of the above are only triggers of stress, NOT causes. What causes your stress is YOU! I can hear everyone saying “Yeh right!” But it’s actually true! It’s how you think about a situation that causes your stress not the situation itself. If it was the external situation that caused the stress, we would all feel and react in the same ways in the same situations. But we don’t. Thus it is our distorted or irrational thoughts that cause the stress response, such as over-emphasising the negatives, catastrophising, having unrealistic expectations, comparing self to others, worrying about the what if’s, etc.

Then the stress is maintained due to the interaction between the person’s thoughts, physical stress reactions, behaviours and emotions. For example if you are in financial difficulty and your thoughts are focused on the negatives and how you’re never going to come back from it, then it is likely that you will develop a stress reaction. This will trigger off a range of physical stress reactions, such as headaches and heart palpitations. These physical symptoms then make you feel worse, so your thoughts get more out of perspective and you get even more stressed and then you get even more physical symptoms. Then if you start trying to avoid the situations that involve the stress as opposed to tackling the problems head on, your stress levels will increase further. So basically you get trapped in a vicious cycle of stress!

So how do you break out of this cycle? How do you manage stress?

Stress management is about creating a balance between life’s pressures, life’s enjoyment and personal satisfaction in order to reduce your stress levels. Things won’t change overnight. It will take time, but with effort it can be achieved by looking at addressing the trigger, your thoughts about the trigger and your behavioural reactions to that trigger. This is a cognitive behavioural (CBT) approach to tackling stress.

So here’s how…. 

  1. Understand your stress – Knowing what your triggers are, recognising the way stress presents itself for you and the effects it has.
  2. Eliminate the stressor – Sometimes it is possible to remove from your life the thing(s) that it is causing you the stress. This isn’t about avoidance, it’s about making a decision as to whether the stressor can be resolved or not. E.g, if you’re in a job where the working environment or the work levels are causing you so much stress but you know things will never change there despite any attempts on your part, then it would perhaps be a good idea to think about moving on to a new job.
  3. Avoid negative coping strategies – Negative coping strategies, such as comfort eating, smoking, shouting, self-harming, substance abuse, etc., do not help in the long term. Instead they help to maintain the stress and to cause other emotional issues.
  4. Use relaxation, distraction & constructive coping strategies – Use things that you enjoy as a distraction from the stress, as a relaxation method and as a constructive coping strategy. This can be anything from a five minute walk to doing yoga to listening to music - whatever works for you. Ensure you get time for you every day, spend time with friends and loved ones, give yourselves things to look forward to and just have fun! And remember it doesn’t have to be expensive!
  5. 5. Challenge out of perspective, irrational or negative thoughts – As we’ve seen, it’s how you think about a situation that can trigger stress. Thus you need to accept that you are in control of your reactions to a situation and that you are therefore in control of your stress levels. So you need to identify when you are thinking negatively or irrationally. The moment such a thought pops into your head you need to challenge it by asking yourself why you’re thinking that way, what evidence you have for that thought, whether your thoughts are based in reality, what you are getting out of stressing, what alternative thoughts are more positive and constitute a more realistic assessment of the situation? You can write down your thoughts and feelings to help you challenge them if necessary.
  6. Adapting values  - The things we place most value on in life can impact hugely on our stress levels. Thus we need to look at our values and priorities and assess whether we are stressing over things that are in fact not that important. Are we putting too much pressure on ourselves? Is that pressure worth the end result? Also remember perfection doesn’t exist!
  7. Don’t avoid! – Avoidance doesn’t give you the chance to see that the situation isn’t as bad as you thought and that you CAN cope. Avoidance maintains stress!
  8. Develop your problem solving skills – Even when you are stressing over an important problem that needs tackling, where does that stress get you? Does it resolve the problem? The answer is no. Instead you need to look at how to resolve the problem. Look at all the pros and cons of different methods of solving the problem and work out which you think would be most effective.
  9. Talk! – Talking about how you are feeling calmly and constructively will help you to de-stress, to challenge your thoughts and also to resolve any problems.
  10. Develop your organisational skills – Living amongst disorganisation and clutter can be a stressor for people. Thus organising your living and working environments can really help. Make sure they are as ergonomic and relaxing as possible. Organise your days – schedule, plan, prioritise, manage your time, delegate, etc. Don’t procrastinate! Also remember to focus on what you have achieved and not just on what you haven’t!
  11. Live healthily – Diet, exercise and sleep are all important to managing stress. Eat a healthy, balanced diet. Get regular exercise. Both a good diet and exercise can boost the mood and are natural de-stressors! Get adequate sleep. Lack of sleep or sleep disturbance will make you more susceptible to feeling stressed.
  12. Build your self-esteem & assertiveness – If you are not confident in yourself you are less likely to think that you can cope with things that come your way. So recognise realistically who you are, what your skills are and what you have achieved in the past. Focus on the positives about yourself and be proud. Use this self-belief to then communicate your needs assertively to help resolve problems.
  13. Create a work-life balance – Leave work at work. Be realistic about what you can achieve within timescales. And be realistic about the number of hours you work. Make sure you get plenty of time for you to relax and have fun.
  14. Seek professional help – There’s no shame in seeking professional help in relation to managing your stress. CBT is an effective therapeutic approach for stress.

 

For more details on anything mentioned in this article, see Kate’s forthcoming book ‘Starving the Stress Gremlin: Stress Management for Adults'. Keep an eye on http://www.collinsdonnelly.co.uk/ for the release date in 2008.